I wonder

jeudi, le 24 décembre 2009

Last night I sat outside under the palm where L’homme used to sit for hours. I wondered where he was, I wondered what he was thinking, I wondered what he used to think all those hours he spent sitting under the palm.

I burst into tears because, in spite of everything, I missed L’homme, because I was sad for My Witty Friend, I was sad for The Jeweller - her mother passed away the day we held a memorial service for My Witty Friend’s husband. The Jeweller didn’t make it back in time to see her mother one last time. She passed away while they were at the airport.

Then I reminded myself that there is no point in being sad over L’homme. He never really cared, he lacked compassion, he lacked understanding and more than anything, he lacked the ability to commit to our relationship through thick and thin. When not even the alcohol could compensate for all the lacking, he turned nasty, mean and malicious.

I sighed, I wiped my tears, I looked up at the stars, I sent comforting, supportive whishes to My Witty Friend and The Jeweller, I went inside, I put on some happy music and started to make my house pretty for Christmas Eve dinner.


(The story in the photograph: The Princess,to my absolute delight, loved the beach. I wonder what she was thinking as she stared out over the largest body of water she had ever seen.)

I’m back

lundi, le 21 décembre 2009

I spent much more time with My Witty Friend than I originally thought I would. I thought I’d go down for a week or two. Alas, seven weeks later, The Princess and I made our way back home again.

I didn’t blog because I didn’t want to. I told blog stories in my head every day. I didn’t blog because I didn’t really have the time and because I was confronted with experiences and emotions that I needed to internalise, to sift through and to make my own before I could share them.

And then, when I was on my way home, L’homme, with his usual inimitable timing, upset my entire little apple cart. I am truly aghast at this man’s total lack of compassion, of caring, his boundless stupidity. With one phone call he eradicated all the kindness and tenderness and forgiveness I had honed towards him. And he replaced it with anger.

I can’t unreservedly say that I am pleased to be back in the city where I live, but I am pleased to slowly but surely find my rhythm again.

Having booked a trip to my beloved Paris helps me to deal with my anger towards L’homme and is a good incentive to get the rhythm going.

(Some music musings: Driving down to My Witty Friend, I couldn’t get my iPod to work. Thankfully I had grabbed all of about three CD’s as I flew out the door. I spent hours listening to the obligatory ’Sympathique' and to Dylan’s Together Through Life. Many a day when The Princess and I walked along the beautiful mountain paths, the opening lines of one of my favourite ditzy songs on this CD, found their way into my head:

I get the blues for you baby when I look up at the sun
I get the blues for you baby when I look up at the sun
Come back here, we can have some real fun

Well it’s early in the evening and everything is still
Well it’s early in the evening and everything is still
One more time, I’m walking up on heartbreak hill
~Bob Dylan : Shake shake mama

(The story in the photograph: The Princess is dumbfounded that grass can grow so tall in just over seven weeks. She’s wondering whether she possibly shrunk!)

Beautiful Cards

lundi, le 19 octobre 2009

(The story in the photograph: My Witty Friend’s incredibly talented 17 year old daughter made me the most beautiful card.)

A Room with a View

Winter Wonderland

Taking a break

jeudi, le 15 octobre 2009

It was a wet, rainy day. The sun came through late afternoon. My Witty Friend, The Princess and I grabbed the opportunity for a walk in the mountains. It was the most heavenly thing I had done in a long time.

(The story in the photograph: The Princess was as elated on her walk today as she was when she was just a little pup.)

Happy Trip

mercredi, le 14 octobre 2009

OK I admit, this post is purely for NaBloWriMo browny points. It was a 13½ hour drive, it was exhausting, I’m exhausted BUT the best thing I could have done!

New Shoes

mardi, le 13 octobre 2009

It’s just one of those things. New shoes always remind me of Leo in Twin Peaks. That’s just the way things are.

Today my car got two new front shoes for our trip tomorrow. This time she has French shoes. I have a good feeling about that.

The Princess has her bags packed. She’s in bed already. She promised that she’ll drive the long, boring parts of our journey!

Best I go and join The Princess in bed. Tomorrow is going to be a very, very long day.

(The story in the photograph: The last time The Princess went on a road trip, I burst both the front tires on my car. On a Sunday, with nowhere to buy new tires. Needless to say, when the second tire burst and with the spare already replacing the first burst tire, we had to be towed to our final destination on a flatbed truck.)

In a nutshell

lundi, le 12 octobre 2009

… that is more or less the kind of day I had!

(The story in the photograph: The picture tells it all.)

Trip planning

dimanche, le 11 octobre 2009

My Witty Friend’s husband is really not doing well. She’s asked me to come and spend some time with her. For moral support, to help with the household chores, to do taxi runs for the kids and to have someone to sip a glass of wine with in the evenings.

The Princess’ hearing abilities never cease to amuse me. When she’s asked to bring her ball in the park, she’s as deaf as a door post. But mention ‘The Princess’ and a trip to anywhere in one sentence, and her ears perk up immediately. Her immediate concern is whether this means that she is being saddled with the arduous task of cat-sitting or whether it means that she can kiss her furry friends goodbye and go on an adventure. She established very quickly today that she’s going on a trip to where she’s never been before.

My Witty friend lives in the town where I went to varsity. It’s about a two hour flight from the city I live in, driving there takes about twelve hours, if not more. Flying down means I need to find a house- and Princess-sitter, which is easier said than done, especially at short notice and especially if I don’t know for how long. Driving down means the Princess gets to go on the longest road trip she’s ever been and My Bountiful Friend will do daily cat-calls to make sure that food and water bowls are filled to the brim.

I miss L’homme every single day of my life, but more so on days when I have to plan for unexpected trips and there’s a home and animals to take care of. If he had been the man of his word he wanted me to believe he was, I could’ve caught the first flight out and spent as much time with My Witty Friend as she needed. Secure in the knowledge that my home was being lived in, that The Princess was being cared for as she is accustomed to.

Alas, L’homme turned out to be as fake as he didn’t want anybody to believe he was. So now I have to make difficult decisions and sacrifices on my own. This time round the flying-driving decision was not an easy one. I’m still not sure that the driving decision is the best one, but it’s the best decision I could make today.

Tomorrow is going to be a hectic day with work in the way, the obligatory long distance car checks and a myriad of arrangements to get in place. Oh and some sleep somewhere along the way would come in handy! On Wednesday The Princess and I hit the long, long road.

(The story in the photograph: When I took The Princess out earlier this evening, I was just overwhelmed by the delightful Jasmine fragrance that filled the air.)