Fedora Man

mercredi, le 30 septembre 2009

Man seeks to escape himself in myth, and does so by any means at his disposal. Drugs, alcohol, or lies. Unable to withdraw into himself, he disguises himself. Lies and inaccuracy give him a few moments of comfort.
~Jean Cocteau

I wanted to post something else this morning, but then this quote came up on my blog through the link I have to a site that provides daily quotes. It should not come as a huge surprise that it, as most things do, reminded me ever so much of L’homme! Again, in a Meatloaf way, I have to give to L’homme: ’Two out of three ain’t bad’. Well, that is if you don’t count cigarettes and porn as drugs - alcohol has already been accounted for. Oh my love, even through the pain, you can sometimes really make me laugh!

One of L’homme’s more endearing disguises was the Fedora. He’d wear one, come rain or shine, indoors and out, day and night. Some Fedoras he bought for himself, some I found, some he received as gifts. One of the last Fedoras I found for him, together with a beautiful white Blanc du Nil shirt, made from lovely, cool Egyptian cotton, was in Carcassonne on our trip to France last year. That day I also bought gargoyles that I have since, very ineffectively, had installed as part of a water feature in my courtyard. If I knew then what I know now? Which wouldn’t I have opted for? The gargoyles or the shirt and Fedora?

Funny thing, hindsight. But I know I wouldn’t have done anything differently. I wouldn’t have known how, then. I wouldn’t have known that I had to it differently.

I haven’t seen L’homme in his signature Fedora for quite some time. I was, however, pleased to see that his Blanc du nil shirt was still part of his wardrobe. Has he not been able to afford a new Fedora now that he is a bit cash strapped after the broads hacked his band? Or has he already got the new ’feet to stand on’ running around madly to find a new Fedora for him? One that fits just right? Who knows? The reality is that I shouldn’t care, even though I do. Funny that, always with a hat on!

Enough of L’homme, his Fedora, his escapism, his disguises. I have a deadline of my own to hunt down. In fact, this deadline went whooshing past so long ago, that I can’t even remember the sound it made.

(The way I mostly remember L’homme from our road trip through France last year. Always with his back to me, always walking away from me and I was always digitally trying to place him in my relentless chase after ‘Les plus beaux villages de France’. Always with the Fedora, often with the Blanc du nil shirt, but already creating the distance he eventually formalised. If the truth be told, I hated it when L’homme figuratively walked away from me, but physically loved watching him walk away. He has an awkward gait that I find irresistibly sexy.)